


As We Begin

by AllJisbonThings



Series: Loving Him Was Red [2]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Based on a Dermot Kennedy song, F/M, Ficlet, Fix-It of Sorts, Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27405871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllJisbonThings/pseuds/AllJisbonThings
Summary: "When everything was brokenThe devil hit his second stride..."Lost - Dermot Kennedy
Relationships: Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon
Series: Loving Him Was Red [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971430
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	As We Begin

_ "I know you'd never leave me behind _

_ But I am lost this time _

_ (...) _

_ And then when everything is over _

_ I hope to think of this as better times _

_ (...) _

_ It can't be solace every time you cry _

_ I could have told you 'bout the long nights"  _

**Lost - Dermot Kennedy**

  
  


Patrick fought the voice in his head yelling "cheater" as he pulled his boss' body closer. Asleep Teresa Lisbon in all her naked, still sweaty from lovemaking, glory and he had to bite his lower lip to prevent the little groan that tried to escape his throat. He loved her so much it hurt like a punch to the guts.

All the 10 years he had spent chasing Red John, he should have been focused solely on his revenge. His wife and kid deserved that much. But instead, he found himself falling slowly but inexorably for the amazing woman that felt the same for him.

She was a saint and he didn't deserve her. He was a broken man, who was just a day away from becoming a murderer, nothing would ever change that, and yet, he was holding her asleep form knowing well he wouldn't be back in her bed.

Tomorrow he'd kill Red John or get killed trying. Either way, he wouldn't find his way back to her.

In case Patrick succeeded, he'd leave the country. If he didn't... well, he didn't. Suicide was an option too if he managed to complete his task, but he didn't want her crying over him, the love she lost and thinking she wasn't enough. Teresa was more than he deserved, she would never leave him behind. 

For a guy who thought he didn't deserve love once, finding it a second time just confirmed there was no God. He was not a good person and yet he found his solace not once, but twice, when truly good people were lucky if they found it at all.

Still asleep, Teresa shifted a bit, dragging the blanket down a bit and revealing more naked skin as she got comfortable on his chest again. She was just so beautiful, almost shining in the moonlight coming through the window of her bedroom. If he got out alive that image would have to keep him going for the rest of his life, her blissfully unaware she'd never see him again, looking like that was exactly where she belonged.

Had he been a better man, Patrick would've never driven to her house the day he found out who Red John was. But he wasn't and he had seduced her, their lovemaking leaving a bittersweet feeling in his chest. Their first time would also be the last.

Of course, she didn't know it, whispering I love yous and screaming his name when she came the second time, pulling him to the cliff with her.

Those would be the better times.

He just hoped she could forgive him and move on with her life once everything was done.


End file.
